This too, shall pass.

Over the last couple of years, I’ve really made an effort to understand that nothing is permanent. The good times don't last, and neither do the bad ones. A feeling of sadness will not last forever, and neither will feelings of happiness. As a society, we like to hide this fact. We are told that if we do not feel joy, and optimism 24/7, we likely have a condition of some sort, and will need medication or another form of treatment. If we do not wake up in the morning and instantly feel happy, there must be something wrong with us. This couldn’t be further from the truth.

As human beings, we are built to feel. This is what makes us human, in fact. Feeling has a wide range, and this is something I’ve had to learn myself. I used to think that feelings like anxiety, sadness, frustration, and anger were wrong, or rather, that I was doing something wrong, or that the chemistry in my mind was messed up. As a society, we have changed the definition of happiness. The world says that happiness is being happy and positive all of the time. But in reality, true happiness is understanding that the full range of human motion is normal, accepting that, and allowing yourself to feel everything strongly. 

There is something else that I must mention though, while feeling all of the things is totally normal, so is releasing them, and letting them go. Each time you feel an emotion, even happiness, it is important to recognize that you cannot hold onto it for too long, you must let it come, and then go. Our physical beings are just vessels to carry energy from one place to another, we are not meant to attach ourselves to a feeling, or thought. We must feel deeply, and then let that feeling pass. We must ponder our thoughts, for just a moment, and then let that thought pass. 

Nothing is permanent. Bad times, good times, boring mondaine moments, they all will eventually pass. 

So next time, you feel yourself spiraling into self doubt or overthinking or feeling anxiety, say yourself: “Thinking”. Then breathe 1 2 3, breathe 1 2 3, repeat this as many times as you need to until the feeling has passed. Realize that you are just here to observe your feelings and thoughts, not become them.

I hope this helps, just a little. Have a great day and always remember to Keep Going. 

As I stand here on a Saturday afternoon and watch my daughter eat her dinner while watching a Disney Pixar movie, I can’t help but feel a deep feeling of anxiety in the pit of my stomach. I can’t help but feel like something bad is on the horizon. What I’ve realized for the last few years - maybe over the last year more than anything, I feel this way because I grew up in a very traumatic household, and I don’t really know how to enjoy the good things. My amygdala is like a totaled car. Even though nothing traumatic has happened in my life for quite some time now, and I have a very stable, perfect home life with my little family, my brain still is in reaction mode 24/7, triggers are everywhere. I know that I have a great job, I know that I get to pursue my creative arts as much as I’d like: My music, My writing, My podcasting, and video content creation. I get to do all of these at will here in the music and entertainment capital of the world: Nashville, Tennessee. So, even though my life is better than I could’ve ever dreamed it to be, there's still this feeling… that I don’t deserve it, and that something bad has to happen because… well, it’s my life.

The research is clear on why I continue to feel this way, and why you might as well. From age 0 to age 7, our conscious brains don’t actually remember much of anything. You will often hear people say, “They’re a baby, they won’t remember it anyway.” On one hand, this is true, our brains will not consciously remember it, but on the other hand, it’s a very dangerous mindset. There is something I learned just the other day that blew my mind, and it will yours too. I was listening to The Mel Robbins Podcast and Mel had a guest on her show by the name of Dr. Burke Harris. Dr. Nadine Burke Harris, MD is an expert on trauma science, and how it affects public health with degrees from Harvard and Stanford. Dr. Burke has pioneered research on ACEs or Adverse Childhood Experiences. Now, Dr. Burke said something on this podcast that put all of this into perspective for me. I want you to think about it this way: When we are babies and toddlers, we pick up on our parents native language, we learn to repeat what they say, just like they do, and in turn, we learn how to talk, socialize, and so many other things before we turn 2 years old. Sitting here today at 27 years old, I don’t remember hearing my parents talk, I don’t remember hearing my parents read to me as a toddler and teach me words. But, deep in my subconscious, my brain remembered and took all of this with me as I grew up, it was the biological foundation of who I became. Now, the same goes for any traumatic event that takes place in childhood. 

For example, when I was 6 years old, I was raped by a family member. I didn't remember this event until I was 19 years old. Literally, not a single flash of this memory until 19. Then one night, sitting around a bonfire at a friend's place, when I was 19, it all came flooding back and hit me like a freight train. 

Even though I didn't remember for over a decade, It’s clear that this traumatic event changed my biochemistry. I have had severe general anxiety for as long as I can remember, I have had a very hard time focusing for as long as I can remember, and this trauma caused non-mental conditions as well, I have suffered from gastrointestinal problems for as long as I can remember, I suffer from insomnia, and nightmares for as long as I can remember, I have a hard time remembering things and struggle with memorization, for as long as I can remember, this is who I am. These are all a direct result of early childhood trauma. Just like my first words, and first books, the event of rape at such a young age built my brain, and in turn, my body a certain way. It literally makes me, me. Just as much as the first book I was into, or the first time I went to the zoo and learned animal sounds. 

In my particular case, and in many others as well, there isn’t just one traumatic event. There are often years upon years of childhood trauma. Just like the event when I was 6, each time my parents yelled, each time I was physically abused by my father, each time I witnessed substance abuse, it was layering trauma into my biological makeup. All of these things that happened to me at such a young age made me who I am: Mentally, and Physically. 

Is your mind blown? I know mine was, this all makes just a little bit more sense now. The reason that I lose control of my thoughts at seemingly the most random and inopportune times. The tidal wave of uneasiness that sets over my body while the life around me is nothing but good, and I am safe. My triggers, like yours, are a literal part of our biological makeup. There is nothing we can do except take a deep breath, take a step back, and observe our thoughts and feelings as they come and go, and remember not to attach ourselves to them, but rather observe them. We should be thankful for their constant reminder of a life we once lived, but one we don’t any longer. For the last 18-24 months, I have found a few ways to help ease my angst. It is important to remember that while these work for me, you should find your own routine that feels right for you. 

Each morning, I have a very specific routine. I awake early, before 5am, I drink water before anything else, I stretch, and then I meditate. Meditation or the practice of mindfulness allows me to reach a state of calm, and I carry this feeling of calmness with me all day, so I know what calm feels like, and throughout my day, I can be aware of when I am not calm, and my thoughts begin to race - I can bring myself out of that spiral quicker when I think back to how I felt in the morning. Like I said before, it is important to remember that we are not our thoughts and feelings, we must observe them, and then let them pass without anchoring ourselves to them. Often, our thoughts are negative, and the little voice in our head does not have our well-being in mind, so we must be aware of that, and let all those thoughts come, and go. After I meditate, I free-write and journal. Sometimes, I write a thousand word article like this one, other times, I just turn my brain off and let my hand write whatever it wants, this is a technique called brain dumping. Every single day, I meditate and journal. Both of these things haven’t cured me of anxiety, or my triggers, but they allow me to observe my feelings from a distance, and realize they are not who I actually am. 

So, as I sit here on a Thursday morning and watch my daughter eat her breakfast to Bluey, I feel a deep sense of peace knowing that I am more than my trauma, I am more than my past, and all I can do is be present in this moment. No rush, for where would I rush to? I can only be here, right where my feet are.

It’s important to note, some of us need more than mindfulness practice, and you might require therapy or other forms of medical help, don’t ever hesitate to speak up and ask for help. I believe in you, Keep Going. 

Get SA Help Here: https://rainn.org/help-and-healing/hotline/

Rape, Abuse, and Incest National Network: https://rainn.org/ 

More Mental Health, Abuse, and Trauma Resources:

https://988lifeline.org/ 

https://shorturl.at/mCA2W 

You have to be willing to let people go.

As you change and grow as a human being, there will no longer be space for certain people in your life. It’s not their fault and it’s not yours. You are not the same person that you once were, and that’s a good thing. You have grown and in turn, your aura has too. You may feel that some people from your past life have gotten stuck, and this is a normal feeling to have. But you can only be concerned about you. They are not your responsibility anymore because the universe has put you on different paths.   

Have you ever noticed that once you feel the energy shift with someone, maybe you saw them one day and you could just feel that there was no longer compatibility. You could feel an unspoken distance. Then, after that, you never see them again. This isn’t accidental, this is the universe at work. Your energies are no longer compatible. You are not the same person you were the day this person came into your life. You have changed, and that’s okay. “If you realize that all things change, there is nothing you will try to hold on to."- Lao Tzu

Instead of spending so much of your energy in your new life trying to grasp onto things or people from your old one, embrace the present-day. Embrace the person you have grown to become. Once you fully accept the person you are right now - the more people who align with your new energy will drift into your life. People who are in tune with you will walk alongside you and eventually find their way into your life. 

In my personal life, I have felt this shift in a seismic way over the last 24 months. Friends who I once thought would be in my life forever have quickly fell out of my life. At first, it can be easy to drown in self-pitty, and blame yourself. You question what you must’ve done wrong to push these people away. But from my own experience, I can tell you, you did absolutely nothing wrong. I realized during my own journey that a lot of the friends I had made, I had made because of a social activity that I no longer participate in: Drinking alcohol/Going out. Many of the people I kept company with, I did while I wasn’t sober. To some, this is their entire identity. So, as they continued to indulge in the pleasures of that world, there was no place for me in their life. Almost as if by some magic, as soon as I stopped giving way to living a life I didn’t remember, as soon as I stopped drinking, as soon as I stopped partying: I never saw these people again. That's the work of the universe, that's the work of my new life. 

If you have felt similar things happening to you once you decided to better yourself: You are just like me, you are omitting a new energy now. Embrace it. Don’t hold onto who you once were, or people from a life you are no longer living. I know that this transition can feel lonely at times, but you must trust that if the old toxic you could build relationships, the new enlightened version can too. Join a club today, join a local social media group today, go to your local coffee shop, or park and say hi to a stranger. The universe has put you on a path - it is your job to walk it, the rest will take care of itself. 

If no one else tells you today, I am proud of you, and I believe in you. Keep Going - Keep Moving! 

“Love what you do and you’ll never work a day in your life.” 

You’ve probably heard this said a million times over the course of your life. Some of you heard this and worked hard to build a career that you are passionate about, while some of you settled. You settled for something that paid the bills. You settled for a job that “has more good days than bad”. You settled for a job that makes you feel “comfortable”. But what if there was more waiting for you just past the door of discomfort? What if just beyond your current point of view, your dream job is just sitting there waiting for you? 

Early on in our lives we are taught to think small by our parents, and this isn’t their fault, at all. Speaking to my 90s babies and after: Think about every generation that's come before ours.. It’s not wrong for them to think small, because their world was a lot smaller than ours is. Their level of knowledge was far less than ours is, we have every thing known to mankind at the tip of our fingers, a Chat GPT or Google search away. Our parents, in most cases, didn’t mean to limit our potential, but rather they were just passing along what they knew, which is far less than we do now. I was extremely lucky to have a mom who encouraged me to dream big and always told me the sky wasn’t even the limit. She believed in my wildest dreams, and it is this belief that has driven me to chase more, constantly. I never have had a “regular job” that I wasn’t passionate about, and if my heart wasn’t in it, I left. 

My current job ranks number one on my list of things I’ve done in my short working career. I love my job. My job inspires me every single day to be a better person, not just a “worker bee”. I feel empowered to reach for the stars in my current role, the company I work for fosters growth and believes in my fullest potential. Often I stop and take a second to think about how random it was that I landed in my current workplace back in 2022, and how many things had to happen for me to get these opportunities. I feel very lucky.. But then I remember something very important: Nothing about this is luck.

Like I said in the beginning of this post, we all have the potential to have our dream job. There is nothing stopping you, except you. Not once did I settle for my current position, I asked myself often if this is what I really wanted to do, and the answer has always been a resounding yes, and that answer has come from my heart first and my soul second. My heart and soul feel fulfilled at my job, my work makes a difference, I help people live better lives, and I make the world a better place.

I didn’t settle for what I do now, I didn’t stop growing as a human being, in fact, the opposite has happened, and I want this for you too. 

So ask yourself, is this job that you currently hold what you really want to do with the majority of your time here on Earth? If not, make a change. Don’t just up and quit today, but make a plan to explore a new career path, and take action to make it a reality. 

I believe in you, and I am so proud of you. Keep Going! 

We are 2 months into 2026, 58 days have already passed this year. Have you made meaningful changes in your life this year or are you living out the same life you have lived since 2022? Are you practicing the same worn out habits you have lived for your entire adult life? Are you more in tune with your spirality this year or are you still living your life based on ego and outside validation? Are you more organized this year or are you still living from one mess to another, one pile of dirty dishes to the next? Are you taking your physical health more seriously in 2026, or are you still running off of alcohol and processed foods? See, all of us human beings set out to drive meaningful change in our lives every single New Year, but we seldom do it. We rarely do what is necessary to create actual change in our lives every year. This is because we sit on New Year's Day and we list out “goals” or “ideas” but we never actually think about the day to day actions needed to literally carry out these things, or rather apply them practically to our daily lives in a way that they will actually be accomplished. “New Year’s Resolutions" cannot just be simply said and then forgotten about, they must be said - then meticulously planned out in a way that will help us actually see results. 

“You do not rise to the level of your goals. You fall to the level of your systems". - James Clear, Author of Atomic Habits. This emphasizes that sustainable success comes from focusing on daily habits and processes rather than just the final outcome. I love this quote so much and I love James’ book even more. “Atomic Habits” is a great guide to driving real and meaningful change. James does a great job at explaining over and over again in his book how too often we just set goals, or say them out loud and think: “Wow I have made the change, the goal is spoken out loud or written down so now it’s going to happen”. While it is a great first step to do these things, it is imperative that you think through the daily actions in which you will accomplish goals. James talks about in his book how winners and losers often have the same end goal, but the winner is actionable with daily habits of success versus the loser is not. All the candidates for a job have the same goal in mind: To get the job - but the candidate who will actually get a job offer probably has completed all the necessary daily actions to reach his or her goals. There are no shortcuts in life. You must put your head down and do the work. 

I have built off of 2025 in significant and consequential ways already this year. I was already seeing so many purposeful changes coming to light last year, and I have worked even harder in the last 58 days to build off of them in a worthwhile way. 2026 is my pivot year. This year I wanted to see real change in my daily habits, and I have accomplished that in huge ways already this year. My home is more organized, clean, and put together than ever before. I have a morning routine that now involves so many different winning attributes such as meditation, exercise, journaling, hydrating, and now I have added cleaning and organizing the spaces in my home. I awake at 4am every day and complete all of these actions, even on my days off from work. I have prioritized my home spaces this year, making them as stress free as possible. I have gotten rid of anything that doesn’t serve me spiritually and only kept around things that I have a real connection to - eliminated clutter. Last year, I spent a day here and there – phone free, but now I spend 2-3 hours every morning without my phone as well as every Wednesday when I am off work.  I have taken the habits that I started building in 2025 and perfected them through meaningful, daily actions. 

There is no secret to success, no magic shortcut to the life that you want for yourself, you must do the daily work. We are only 58 days into the year, there are still 307 days left for you to seriously change your life. Start now. Right this minute, begin the journey to self acceptance, because once you are healthy physically, mentally, spiritually, and emotionally, you will see how your entire mindset on everything will change. Once you cut out the toxins in your life like alcohol, fast food, and ultra-processed food, you will see how your energy level increases. Don’t just take my word for it: I weigh 82lbs less than I did this time 2 years ago, and 66lbs less than I did this time in 2025.

I am living - breathing proof that daily actionable change, changes you tenfold. 

I believe in you, no matter what bad habits or vices you are battling. I believe in you no matter what gender or age you are. You can drive meaningful change in 2026, it’s not too late. In the words of Brianna Wiest: This is your pivot year!

If no one else tells you today, I am proud of you, Keep Going. 

It’s hard to even comprehend it - 2 years without a single drop of alcohol. 2 years without a shot, glass of wine, mixed drink, or beer, and you know what? It hasn’t even been hard. On February 26th, 2024, I got drunk for the last time, even though I didn’t know that day it would be the last time. I had no idea that night would be the last one I wouldn’t remember. A few weeks later, my wife and I found out we were having a baby and my life changed forever. If you’ve been following along with my music, blog posts, or podcasts, you know this story. In the last 24 months, I have completely and totally transformed my life. I’ve now lost over 80lbs, I cut out fast food, dairy, and most meats: I am in the best physical shape of my life. But more importantly, I have developed a life changing morning routine that has literally saved my life.

I used to hit the snooze button 6 times, and when I did wake up, I would doom scroll until I was eventually late for work, then I would rush out of the house dressed sloppily, tired, and hydrated on RedBull all morning at work. Now I wake up by 5:30am every day, I drink 12oz of water, stretch, meditate, journal, and exercise. Most mornings I am up by 4am, and I am able to clean and organize our home after exercising. Nowadays, I go to work energized both physically and mentally. I spend my day smiling wide with spiritual awareness of my surroundings, feelings, and emotions. I am open to everything and aware of all sensations and responses. I observe the physical signs of anger arising, then I let anger rise, and then fall. I observe the physical signs of anxiety approaching. I let thoughts appear, and then pass - without overthinking. My energy level is 5x what it was 2 years ago, my outlook on life is optimistic, and my heart is open to driving meaningful change in my life, every single day. 

I am a better husband. father, human, son, and friend because 24 months ago I stopped drinking alcohol. There is no secret formula or “life hack”, it’s really so simple: I got sober = my life changed. Every single consequential change I have made stemmed from getting sober. Quitting alcohol was the boulder that started rolling down the hill of change, knocking off one bad habit at a time. 

But listen, my sobriety is so much deeper than morning routines, healthy eating habits, and physical fitness. My sobriety is about a promise I made to myself. Growing up, I saw first hand the detrimental effects of addiction. Several family members including my older brother, and my father dealt with and still deal with drug and alcohol dependency. It is an intricate part of my story, and it is something that has shaped who I am in more ways than I can consciously comprehend. From a very young age, I was forced to grow up faster than my age number, I was tossed head first into the complexities of life, with no safety net. This set me apart from my classmates and peers and often made me feel lonely, but it also taught me to be resilient. As a kid, I made a promise to myself and to my mom that I wouldn’t follow the path that so many Baumgard men had followed before me: Addiction. Unfortunately, somewhere after high school and during college, I lost my way. I gave into the temptations of the world in the form of cinnamon whiskey shots. One thing led to another, and before I could even realize it myself, I was an alcoholic.

Naturally, this is a title I have only recently begun to accept, because while I was deep in it, I didn’t think of myself this way. I thought I drank a little too much - sure. But never did I sit and honestly tell myself: “I am an alcoholic”. When I found out that my baby girl was coming into this world, I quit drinking cold turkey. After February 26th, 2024, I never had even another sip of beer, wine, or any form of alcohol. I was once again honoring the promise that I made 20 years prior. I made that promise to myself again: I will never drink alcohol, and I don’t miss it, not even a little. I don’t say all this to cast judgement on anyone who is still walking a journey of dependency but instead offer a lifeline of hope. I want to be an example of what a life of sobriety looks like. I want to be a beacon of light that shines in the distance, and if one so chooses, they can follow my light and meet me here: A place of true serenity. I know that our modern culture makes it seem as if partying, drinking, and using drugs is actual freedom. This is the path you should walk if you “just don’t care” and aren't following regular “social norms”. To really live, our society would make it seem, is to travel the world by yourself, spend most nights blackout drunk in the club, and bring home a new partner each night. But the reality is, this is all things someone who is least free does. Real freedom is being free from reliance on any substance. True freedom is choosing to be at peace with yourself and your surroundings sober.

First, be okay with who you are alone, in your quietest moments. Second, find someone to love, to be vulnerable with, to open up to fully. Third, get married, and have children. You will see this is the point of our existence: To share ourselves with someone, and to accept as well as offer true love. To continue our family name generation after generation, to raise good and decent humans. 

Now as my daughter continues to grow up, I have a responsibility to approach all of this in a better way. Instead of raising her to be afraid of things, I will teach her to lean into them, and try everything. I think that subconsciously, being told as a young child how scary and bad everything was, only drove me into it further once I had true freedom as an adult. As I carry on with shaping and molding my daughter, I will teach her freedom of choice, I will let her find her own way. I want her to experience life to the fullest, and achieve her wildest dreams. I want her to travel far and wide, and share these moments with someone else, see the entire world with someone, and be present in every moment. I want her to meet a person to love deeply and accept true, deep love back, and eventually build a family of her own.  

I want my daughter to live, and I will be here cheering her on, with a clear mind, body, and soul, for the rest of my days. Fully present - able to remember everything, not a single moment hindered by alcohol or drugs. 

If you’re like I was, you probably have a preconceived idea of what “meditation” is. When I say the word “meditation”, you probably imagine a person sitting on a special pillow in a matching sweatsuit outfit with their legs in criss cross with their hands up in Mudra. While this is the most basic and common form of meditating, there is a lot more possible with this exercise. Mediation is one of the oldest practiced exercises - dating back over 5,000 years to its beginnings in ancient China. Formal techniques of meditation are first documented way back in 3,000-5,000 BCE. This is why I love it so much, it ties directly with Taoism and the beautiful, age-old teachings of Eastern Medicine. There is no actual medication involved, no substances, and it is a free expression that is meant to up totally for interpretation. Whoever is mediating controls every aspect of their experience, and they are the leaders of their session. In a future blog post, I would love to talk with you about Taoism, Daoism, Buddhism, and Eastern Medicine more in depth. Each of these philosophies have shaped who I have become over the last 2 years or so, they teach the importance of being present, calm, and in harmony with the world’s energy that flows all around us. 

Meditation comes in several shapes and types, for example, yesterday morning at 4:15am, I did a guided energy meditation. This was a simple 6 minute breathing exercise that used rapid and loud breaths to wake my body up naturally, for this, I was standing. This past Monday at 5:30am, I participated in a guided gratitude meditation. This was 10 minutes of slow, relaxed breathing paired with speaking out loud - saying things I was grateful for, down to the smallest and seemingly insignificant parts of my daily life. This one in particular was very emotional and evoked deep senses of feeling, to the point that I found myself bawling my eyes out. This morning, at 4am, I sat in on a more traditional guided meditation, one like you are probably picturing: I sat on the floor, on a pillow, with my legs crossed, and my hands in Mudra, and I simply focused on each part of my body. I focused on my forehead, my jaw, my cheeks, my chin, my neck, my chest, and so on. I paid attention to any signs of tension throughout my entire body while I took long deep inhales and long deep exhales. 

All of these are examples of meditations, but they each looked and felt completely different. For one, I was up standing and breathing fast, loud and forceful. Another, I was relaxed, but very emotional, and another I was completely still, calm, and present. A huge misconception with meditation is that it is solely practiced to feel calm or relaxed. This is not true. Mediation is practiced to just simply feel. To feel whatever may arise, and letting whatever emotion or feeling arise without judgement, letting whatever your brain thinks - think. There are energy meditations like the one I mentioned, there are sleep meditations to help fall asleep, there are gratitude meditations, workout mediations, anti-anxiety mediations, overstimulation meditations, work meditations that can be practiced while you are working. There are endless possibilities when it comes to practicing mediating. But through each of these, it is most important to just simply open yourself all the way up and accept everything that comes through you. 

I challenge you to start your meditation journey tomorrow morning, and I recommend downloading the Calm app or going to their website as they have great guided meditations for beginners and experts alike. 

Oh and if no one else tells you today, I believe in you and I am so proud of you. You are becoming the best version of yourself, Keep Going. 

Being able to practice gratitude in your daily life can be one of the most challenging acts to master. We live in a world that is constantly trying to make us upset or angry. We are constantly being pitted against our true selves and each other. We are kept distracted from the true meaning of life. We watch TV that is geared to make us angry at someone or something, we doom scroll on TikTok and Instagram seeing a very curated algorithm that allows us to stay comfortably inside of our own echo chamber - angry at someone or something. Even people I know who claim to live happy lives, or would describe themselves as a positive person with an optimistic view of the world fall into the trap of posting political infographics to their social media stories - without even realizing it, they are feeling anger and hate towards someone or something. They let a 5.5” screen and a stranger distract them from the life around them. The absolute truth is this: Earth is a miracle, simply existing on this planet is a miracle. Being able to see with our eyes, hear with our ears, feel with our fingertips are all extra extraordinary. The odds of you being born into this world as a human being are 1 in 400 trillion. Yet, in my day to day, I encounter so many people who are absolutely miserable. They hate their job, they despise themselves for choices they’ve made in the past, and they just hope the workday goes fast so they can go home. While it is easiest to spend your day in a constant state of distraction, anger, and resentment. There exists another way to be.

You can choose to spend your life feeling, and expressing deep gratitude.

The human brain suffers the most from complaining, when we are constantly negative, our brain is literally rewired to be that way. We cannot enjoy anything because our brain doesn’t know how to anymore. The human brain will see the bad in every single thing, even when it is good. Just like anything, we become what we practice. If you practice negativity, hate, and anger, your brain will think that’s how it is best to operate to survive. Most people probably would still describe themselves as positive or optimistic, but then go on 20 minute rants about work. Ranting does not help, at all. Ranting simply trains your brain to complain and then to think negatively. I used to rant all the time, I confused ranting with talking about my feelings, but these two things couldn’t be more different. When we rant, we are just replaying negativity over and over again, we are verbalizing dissatisfaction with something. We are speaking into the universe and telling it we are upset, and the next time anything similar happens, we are instantly snapped back into negativity mode and rant mode. We’re not actually coming to any solutions, we aren’t working through a problem so that we can solve it, we are just being negative. What I’ve learned is that instead of ranting about work, I should offer solutions in my head silently before I ever speak a word. So, when something arises that makes me upset, I pause, just for a moment and observe the emotions rising in my body. I observe the physical senses like my cheeks and back of my neck getting warm, I feel the lump form in the back of my throat. Once I have observed these physical characteristics of anger, I take a long deep, almost painful breath, and very slowly exhale.  Then I say two words: Thank You - because I know I am lucky to feel the human emotion of anger. Now, I am in a place to find a solution to the problem, calmly. Later when I tell my wife about my day over dinner, I will offer the problem that I faced, or the situation that made me upset immediately followed by the solution that fixed said problem. 

Now, I am training my brain to know that even in situations that feel impossible to overcome, I can overcome them. I don’t rant, I talk, and explain. I feel, and then release. I practice, and then teach. Practicing gratitude has radically changed my life. I no longer see my existence as a burden, but a privilege. I know I am so lucky to feel - everything. The full range of human emotion is not meant to be suppressed, but it can be controlled. The tiny screen in my hand does not control the way that I think. The news does not tell me what to believe, because - I still believe, deep in my heart and soul, that the world is a good place. Humans are good people. This is a good life.

If no one else tells you today, I will: I believe in you. I am proud of you, and I know you will achieve your wildest dreams. The work you are doing matters. 

Keep Going.

Every day for the last year or so, I write in a journal. I have one in each of our vehicles and I have two that I keep in my studio, and a pocket notebook that I carry with me during work. If I’m able to, which most mornings I am, I stick to my routine: Wake up on the first alarm, drink one glass of water, stretch, meditate, have my coffee or energy drink (which lately is the C4 Energy Powder Water Mix - highly recommend), and then write. I also, remember, spend the first two or three hours of my day completely phone free. When I journal, I try to think as little as possible, I try to open my mind all the way up, that’s why I journal after I meditate. It’s not like this blog where there is structure and thematics to the writing. It is just a natural flow of whatever from my brian, to my arm, my hand, and out of my fingers straight into the pen and onto the paper. I have found something incredibly interesting about journaling though, no matter where I start, I almost always end up writing about peace. Being at peace, projecting peace onto those I love, or achieving peace in my day to day life. I believe this is a natural nod from the universe that the very act of journaling itself will bring me those things. The act of writing down whatever my brain and body write will lead to a state of peacefulness. Another thing that I have learned is that I never go back and read what I wrote the day before. Once I am done journaling, I turn the page and the thoughts I wrote on the pages that day will never be read by me again. Just like everything I do, this isn’t intentional, it is just the natural flow of things. I don’t force any of this, it’s just the way that it is. When I am writing, I enter a flow state, and let my brain communicate directly with the muscles in my forearm, hand, and fingers to work together to make the pen move on the paper in a way that shapes words and sentences. It’s like I am taking a backseat and watching myself journal from above or from afar. 

Now I mentioned earlier that I keep a journal in both of our cars and carry one with me at work, why do I do this? I do this because I don’t just journal in the mornings, although that’s where I spend the longest time writing at one time. I also write throughout my day, before I drive to work, and when I arrive at my workplace. I write all day long, wherever I may be. If there is a thought that my brain needs to release, there is a subconscious alarm that goes off deep in my nervous system that tells the rest of my being that I need to write. If I am at work and start feeling the beautiful responsive senses that a human is so lucky to feel such as anxiety, anger, or sadness, I grab my pocket notebook, sit down for a few minutes and write. If my nervous system can sense that I am moving too fast, journaling is a natural stopping point where I can stop, box breathe, and remind myself to slow-max. 

We are all rushing towards one thing and that’s our eventual death. So why rush at all? Slow down.

Everything that you do, each daily action, you should be doing as slowly as possible. Slow-maxxing will change your life, and allow you the space to journal and write. 

I challenge you today to start a journal, you don’t have to do it all day long like me, at least not in the beginning, although as you go, I think you’ll naturally want to. Just start tomorrow by writing for a half hour during your morning routine, or a half hour tonight before bed as a part of your nightly routine. I think you will find a few things when you start journaling: One, that you actually do have the time to write in the first place, you’ll realize how you spent the first thirty, forty, or sixty minutes of every morning doom scrolling on TikTok, or Instagram. Once you are journaling instead, you'll see how much time you actually have in the morning, or before you go to sleep, when you’re not spending it on social media. Two, you will feel the positive effects all throughout your day, you will feel lighter in your upper body, your shoulders will seem weightless because you have released so much tension onto the paper in the morning or evening. 

Journaling will make you feel lighter on your feet and make every other part of your day so much easier, and you will move quicker and with more purpose. 

Recently, I have begun to seriously work on building my complete family tree. I fully expect this process to take many years, especially if I want to verify the authenticity of each branch. I’ve found this process to be extremely spiritual. There is something that makes me feel less small and unimportant when I think about all the people who had to meet, fall in love, and make babies for me to exist. It has become an essential piece to my mornings. Meditating on my ancestral history is a beautiful experience. Taking a moment to say the names of my First, Second, Third, and Fourth Great Grandparents, and learn about their lives through bits and pieces of historical documentation that I come across. Spending a lot of time with my Grandpa Melvin Walter, who I was close to, but too young when he passed. Coming across his World War II Registration Card with his hand writing from 1942. An entire blog post is coming soon about him. Exploring my family history has also made me feel so lucky because I am alive at a time where all of this information is available to me through a few clicks on the internet. 

The family members who I am researching could have never imagined a time where their Third or Fourth Great Grandson could read about their life in the 1760s or mid 1800s. To them, life was very simple, yet I can’t help but wonder if they felt the same complex emotions that I do. Did they have anxiety? 

My great grandfather, Fred, migrated to the United States in 1874 from Pomerania, Germany when he was 26 years old. Fred Albert Baumgard traveled over four thousand miles with no guarantee that where he was headed would work out for him. Fred was driven out of Germany after the Austro-Prussian War in 1866. This war was a result of Austria attempting to take over land that belonged to Prussia. At the time, the village that my Third Great Grandfather Fred lived in comprised only of a few hundred people. They were pig farmers and grain farmers. This war was the last straw for the Baumgard family and many of their fellow villagers. They had been feeling the mounting pressure of losing their land for the last decade but this war made it all feel like an extremely real possibility, so they began to make plans to move to the United States. Back in this time, it was likely that most German-Prussian villagers would end up in the upper Midwest - specifically Blue Earth County, Minnesota, and that’s exactly where my Second Great Grandfather Fred settled and started a farm - near Vernon Center Township, Minnesota. It’s unclear if Fred migrated on his own or with his parents or siblings, but It would be here, in rural Southern Minnesota that he would meet the love of his life, Amelia Wilhemina Aver Schied. Amelia, like Fred, migrated to the United States in the early to mid 1880s. Amelia came to Minnesota in her early to mid 20s, and came here with her family. My Second Great Grandmother lived in a region of Prussian controlled territory that would be considered modern day Poland. Together Fred and Amelia would have seven kids: Hattie, Charles, Anna, Henry, Emma, Otto, and Elda. Fred and Amelia were married for forty-two years, only Fred’s death in 1931 at the age of 83 separating them. Amelia went on to live with her daughter Anna, and her husband Albert until her passing in 1948, also at the age of 83. 

So to answer my question from earlier, did my ancestors have anxiety? Did they feel strongly too? I think that answer is yes, I think my Second Great Grandfather Fred was apprehensive when he came to the U.S. from Germany one hundred and fifty-two years ago on a ship, but I also think his heart was full of wonder at all of the possibilities that awaited him. He took a huge risk and it paid off. Fred deciding to migrate to that small township in rural southern Minnesota is the reason I’m sitting here today. I am so thankful for Amelia and her parents deciding to escape Prussia and take the same risks as Fred. 

Fred, Amelia, those who came after, and before, are the reason I’m able to enjoy these wonderful days with my wife and my daughter.